It’s natural to feel frustrated when we fixate on things beyond our control, leaving us feeling disempowered, disappointed, angry, or anxious. However, when we shift our focus to what is within our control, we can experience a profound sense of empowerment, a feeling of relief and liberation, boosting our confidence and sense of control.

“My mother adored the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” From a young age, I understood that the words engraved on the old wooden plaque hanging on the living room wall held a timeless secret to success, primarily because Mama said so. Today, I recognize the importance of being mindful about the things that are beyond my control and those that are within my control. While the following list is not exhaustive (you’ll most certainly have your own), it’s a good starting point:”

Things typically out of my control:

• The majority of emotions and feelings
• The majority of thoughts
• Memories
• What other people say and do
• How others perceive my motivations
• What happens in the future
• What happened in the past
• Inevitable painful losses in life
• Whether or not life gives me what I want

Things typically within my control:

• How I respond to my emotions and feelings
• How I react to my thoughts
• How I respond to my memories
• What I say and do to influence other people
• How much I use my values for motivation
• What I say and do to influence the future
• How I respond to thoughts about the past
• Being self-compassionate when losses occur
• The values I live by, whether or not life gives me what I want

I encourage you to start shifting your control focus today and see how it impacts your perspective, inspires personal growth, and empowers you.