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Gentle Companion

In the early days following the death of my precious mother, my heart was crushed. Grief was excruciating, life-draining. There is little doubt in my mind that even with the assistance of a support group, I had lost my way. I know that some thought my grief was intense and, to a degree, unwarranted. Because of, unsolicited counsel was free flowing. In retrospect, I know now that no one can tell you how or how long to grieve. Grief will not simply go away in time.  

Five years have now gone by since she departed, and with this passage of time, my grief has changed. No longer do I view it as a mortal enemy, but rather a gentle companion. Slowly, grief released the torturous hold on my heart and graciously allowed me to bask in genuine joy. I will never forget my dear mother, never stop missing her. But I am learning to live without her.  

To those of you who may be in the initial stages of grief, my heart is with you. If you are so inclined, feel free to share your experiences either privately with me, or with our community of followers. I have learned valuable lessons extracted from my very personal experience with loss—and subsequent grief. 

In closing, be gentle with yourself. Give your heart the time it needs to grieve completely. Do not try to short-circuit the process of grief—it cannot, will not, be manipulated. Most importantly, believe that there will be joy again.  


  1. Karen

    No other words are needed..
    You’ve spoken all our hearts who have lost our Mamas 💔
    Love you

    • Thank you, Karen–we’re so fortunate to have had such wonderful mothers. What a legacy they left! Beautiful memories to cherish for all time. Love you, too, cousin!

  2. Claire

    It’s so painful! My beautiful Mother and best friend. Wife to my Dad 72 years. We are having a hard time. She passed at home unexpected very peaceful which gives us a little comfort

    • Oh, Claire, I’m so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear mother. The loss, along with the subsequent grief is such a difficult journey. No matter how many years we have our parents, their leaving is oftentimes excruciatingly painful. Lean into your grief, experience it fully–most importantly, be kind to yourself during these early days. My prayers are with you and your family. Even though it has been several years since my mother passed, I shed new tears after reading your post. Bless your heart.

  3. Sandra

    My precious Mama passed June 2022, I’m having a really hard time, she was my best friend, always lent a hand if I needed help. I think everyone is tired of me wanting to talk about her, but she was a really big part of my life and I miss her terribly. I know she went to Heaven and I’m so glad she’s not in pain anymore. Asking for prayers please, just so down and out! Thank you!🙏

    • Sandra, your post so touched my heart. The way in which you refer to your mama reminds me of my own–she sounds like a very dear soul. I’m a firm believer in grief being commensurate with relationship. Where there is deep grief, there was also deep love. Continue talking about her and recall the precious moments spent in her presence–thus keeping her close. Scripture reminds us that God is near to the brokenhearted, and I pray that he gives you peace and comfort as you travel this journey of loss and grief. It’s painful, and my heart hurts for you. Your grief will not go away, but it will surely change. It seems we were both fortunate to have had wonderful mamas–what a blessing!

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